So, for everyone I know whose birthday was this week….that’s Melanie, Sophie, Nicole, Vince, and Matt, bonne fete. Oh, and 2006, happy birthday to you as well…..in less than 24 hours from now. Seems like a popular time to be born. February is still better though hahaha.

Still feeling a little congested by that flu bout. I love how the news claims little to no cases of the flu here. I guess since I didn’t report mine, it’s all clear. Say what you want lady on the news this morning, there are flu cases here . As much as I wanted to go to Moncton, I’m kinda glad I didn’t, these flu remnants are still making me weary of travelling anywhere, and I have no patience lately either. Sick and cranky haha.

I soldiered out tonight, ran into someone who turns out, is a blog reader! Specifically, mine. Good to learn whose reading it. I’m slowly learning (hard to do, since no one but Julia leaves comments…..except for those anonymous comments that used to be left here a few months ago).

Well, sick or not, the NYE festivities start tonight! Freddy girls are en-route as I type. No Plaskett for me possibly, but Lawrence St. all the way. I put off drunk at Wagner’s on Xmas, so I still have a pile of booze to make me forget I was even sick to begin with hahaha.

Have a happy new year anyone reading this…..seriously, I love it when everyone is happy in whatever they want…..love, career, family, getting tore up on weekends, whatever you want, yeah you, right there-at the computer, I see you…..I hope it all works out for you. I’ll probably see you all on the other side of the calendar from this point. Party safe everyone…..I’ll TRY to do the same hahaha (my mom called tonight, as she does every year, to remind me not to overdo it-hehehe I love my mom)

Cheers!

Yup, posting again today. I am soooooo bored right now. Sick and having nothing to (actually a good thing come to think of it-need the recovery time) sucks. I started a Myspace account for myself out of sheer boredom, plus I wanted to see some people’s blogs and I needed to be a member to view them. Always a friggin’ catch. Currently, The Beatles-S/T (AKA The White Album) is on……”Blackbird” right now at this second….just played one of my fav songs off this album, “I’m So Tired” a second ago. I caught myself singing that out loud earlier, and here we are, had to listen to it.

I’m not bored because I have time on my hands, but because I want things to get going so I can start working towards some goals I set. My patience to get things going is wearing thin at the moment. I’ve told a small handful of people what those are. Basically, since they’re so drastic, I need to sit on everything until the time is right to tell. It was super hard to do that last weekend, all the immediate and extended family asking me what my plans are-I basically had to lie, a lie of omission, but a lie nonetheless. Boo. I’m very anxious to see where I am this time next year, it’s been a few years since my future was a complete blank slate. I like it, well, a bit that is. As I was discussing with someone last night, I am beginning to get a little worried about those things like personal savings, retirement, etc. I have no plans on settling down anytime soon, the option to pick up and go has always been a fav of mine. I do know that the closer I get to 30 however, the likelier I am to want to settle my ass down. I already had a small taste of that earlier this year, which I am writing off as my brain kicking me in the ass. My dad had no savings and was/still is very concerned about his retirement. I learned that lesson right then and there. Closing in on fifty and realizing that your only pension is the CPP and your OAS sucks. Trust me, now that I took that public finance expenditure course, I KNOW those all suck. CPP? OAS? GIS? You cover your basic cost of living and that’s it. Greta for people who just hope to exist in their winter years, but I see me travelling, going to school (yes-again), spoiling the shit outta grandchildren in my retirement.

Oh, we reached “Julia”, another awesome song. I was gonna say there are no good songs with my name, but there is Tenacious D isn’t there? heh heh. “…Fucking Lee!!” Awesome.

Back to my ramble. It’s all about the footer quote on this page. Go ahead, look, I’ll wait. Now you see. So while I enjoy randomly moving my ass around the place to be with new/different people, jobs, schools…..I am looking to keep my ass outta the poorhouse in 2050. I have to plan ahead thinking that these two things will occur (1) I WILL live to be that old, and (2) Society will not crumble, money will still be how we procure goods and services, and inflation will be a bitch by my retirement. I need to keep myself the manager of my retirement too, as nowadays, people no longer have one career that will give them an awesome pension plan after their 25th year with the firm. Shit, most people with BA’s become “consultants”-i.e. self-employed. What I’m getting at here is that unless I become a career military man (or politician-two terms and it’s pension time baby!) I am guaranteed nothing.

So, you can see why I’m impatient. I’m sitting here watching the time slip by-only problem is time has to pass anyway before I can get started. Hmmm…..I guess my real problem is that I have little to distract myself with until the time is right to act. People come home from break! Flu go away already! Let’s start school!…..hmm…didn’t work.

bonne nuit…..to anyone who reads this tonight…..otherwise, good whatever time it is right now.

Well, although the year, isn’t quite all that over yet, I feel like posting this now. If anything crazy happens in the next few days I’ll edit this.

In 2005 I;

* Graduated from university with two majors.

* Returned to said university for a third major.

* Saw The Rolling Stones, The Tragically Hip, Maroon 5 (sarcastic yay), Chixdiggit, Death From Above 1979, K-os, Zeke, Controller. Controller, numerous local and out-of-town indie bands.

* Joined a band myself, began playing shows again……being on stage is very addictive.

* Cut back, sinificantly, my trips to the Valley….while increasing my trips to Moncton. Spent Halloween and Remberance Day there…..no NYE though…..this year anyway.

* Went to Karaoke Party in Moncton (Mel Rox!), can’t remember half of what I sung……it was all embarrassing I know. Britney Spears? Was I drunk?

* Worked again this spring/summer for the first time in years-got paid crap and physically tortured, but proved to myself I had the drive now to work anything. Going to bed early EVERY Friday and Saturday night in the summer is damn difficult to want to do.

* Moved most of my apartment-on my back-from one part of Allan St. to another (except for when Julia lent me the car, that was a life-saver), went to work at my horribly draining job the next day, my back never recovered until I finally quit in August.

* Smashed a thousand dollar laptop…..having no money and breaking large investments makes you want to puke I discovered.

* Personal revelations included realizing I was in a bit of a slump……this is still ongoing, but steps have been made to fix that. I also re-learned how to pour my heart out and embarrass myself, and take it in stride.

* Saw Joel Plaskett on NYE…..I’m predicting the future on this one….Vince will buy my ticket today on his way to work……it’s for his birthday this year, NYE be damned.

That’s that…..sure I’m forgetting stuff, but it couldn’t have been too significant I guess. 2006 I know for a fact will be crazier, especially since I have already made some huge decisions in my mind that will impact my life BIG TIME. 2005 was all prep in my opinion.

P.S. Hit the embedded link in the title to really laugh your ass……I almost fell out of chair reading it yesterday. Hysterical.

EDIT: * People I met in 2005….Damn near everyone in Moncton-Melanie, Kevin, Nicole, Dan, Devin, lots of people basically…also Mindy…..and from Halifax, Craig and Jon (met Shane last year oddly enough), that girl at the Seahorse who lit her cig at the wrong end and leaned on my head to keep from falling down hahaha….the drunk guys who borrowed my bass at Reflections. All the people at the Lawrence St. pad Xmas party I drunkenly talked to, laughed with, shared my champagne with. Dale Fahey, more or less this year, although I was aware he existed years ago. Danielle, who I was in class with for months, but never really talked to until the last week although we sat beside each other haha. The dudes at Duffy’s who I see every now and again on Spring Garden. Oh-Beardo and Alfred, although there’s another case of being aware of them before, just never spoke to them until this year. Ummmm…..Katie, although this won’t happen in person until NYE, er, I mean Vince’s bday…..but we have talked on MSN, so there’s something……Lots of people I met once or twice-various bands and their girlfriends/boyfriends/entourage, friends of friends, co-workers of friends (Il Mercato at Peel Pub!)….my mailman whom I really dislike. For having no real social life to write home about, I meet way more new people then I should it’s starting to seem.

* Started smoking….again, for the third time….quit…again…for the third time.

Maybe while I’m posting this I’ll think of a good imbedded link-oh, just thought of one, something Dennis sent me. Enjoy it.

So, stillllllllll feeling sick, although I got fed up and worked out tonight regardless. It’s been almost a week, and part of having the discipline to do this is to keep at it regularly, so I had to do it. Anyone else doing that, I would say rest, but I treat myself differently for some reason-do as I say, not as I do right?

This being sick definitely interfered with my Xmas weekend home. I spent so much time avoiding children and the elderly-usually an easy feat, except at Christmas. We had Christmas on the 24th for our house-something which comes in handy for non-traditional households, especially after the grandchildren start to arrive. I avoided all the small kids pretty well I think. So the next day, came the elderly. All of my remaining grandparents looked so frail and old compared to when I last saw them. That just made me feel better about going down home in the first place though-you never know how much time you have together….which holds true for everyone, but it really hits home in those situations. I warned all of them before I hugged them I was ill-but no one cared…awe.

In other news, all the ladies I saw commented on how good I looked with dark hair…..guess it stays for a while longer in that case, but that was already decided, since I was told I looked good with it by all of them in Halifax as well. Seriously, the guys never notice, but all the gals “that looks so good” Christ-I’m sold.

Speaking of girls back home, the “friend” I mentioned sometime earlier, you know, the one “with benefits”? well, she was home. I never had a chance to talk to her, but I did see her at the mall very briefly….with a kid. Wished I had talked to her now, just to see how things had changed for her, but you know, Christmas Eve shopping, too busy to stop and chat. The last thing I had ever heard of her was that she was engaged, and that was in 2000 or something crazy. Odd that I mention her, and then there she is. Guess it doesn’t seem that odd since it was Christmas, time to go home, etc etc….but since I usually see no one at home, it seemed odd.

Speaking of seeing people, I got to-sick or not, I was going to go to Colin’s for his Christmas Day party. Good little gathering, not too big. I never drank a drop and offered to be the DD. Interesting having conversations with drunk friends, they sometimes have a tendency to be really intimate, forgetting that you’re not drunk at all, and will totally remember everything. It was fun…..fishtailling through Kingston was too-it had been too long since we acted like we owned that town hahaha.

So, that’s my weekend in a nutshell, sick as hell, but social anyway. I almost forgot, the coolest part was when my Aunt and Uncle left my G.parents place, but came back with their youngest son to show him off. “Little Lee” I guess is his nickname-he does look a lot like I did at that age (6 or 7?), but I guess he acts a lot like I did too. So funny that my grandmother calls him that, considering how she calls me Ian constantly-not her fault, there are seriously wayyyyy too many people in that family to keep all the names straight and on the tip of your tongue-the best bet is to go through the ones you think it is and see if you hit the right one. She calls Ian “Lee” a lot at first by accident as well, so we’re even. I got to hear some good stories that night as well-like the time the Chippendales came to town, and some of my aunts drug my grandmother out to see them, then tired to stuff the ballot box so that she could win a lapdance in a private room hahaha…..too funny.

Well, I’m off, to do whatever the hell I want with my last days of vacation. Adios.

Well, the drive back tonight sucked…..crappy weather…..it wasn’t the worst drive I’ve had on that highway, but there were moments tonight that reminded me of that worst time. Christmas was ok, saw some family, friends, ate good food, and was sick the entire time. Still sick as I write this. My flu-like symptoms turned to cold-like symptoms sometime around late Christmas Eve. Awesome.

Oh, just remembered, I had this big deal I felt I had to post, some old memory that came to me as I was lying in bed the first night back. Not sure if I’m entirely in the mood to post it however. Basically it was this old memory that I either keep forgetting, or repressing….so I wanted to put it on here so it could be recorded. Well, just posting this will remind me, and who knows, maybe I’ll post it later tonight?

That’s what I’ll do….mmmmmmaybe. a bientot.

1:34AM -Back Back!

Well, here I am, again. I guess the good thing about having access to my cpu and my blogspot account is that I can post any random thing that comes to mind without giving it a second thought-having three days to mull over something sucks. It’s all about spontaneity. I will still give up the goods though.

So anyway, the first night I was in the valley, right before falling asleep, I remembered this one thing for some reason or another. Here’s the setup-This takes place when I was 12, in Grade 6, and living in Halifax. So, to begin, there was this girl in my class, Jacqueline, very pretty, smart, and shy-as was I, since I never made a move to even get to know her. Anyway, I can’t remember how this happened, but it actually got out that I liked her, and she definitely knew it-but still I did nothing. The exact time of these particular happenings is completely beyond my recollection, but I do know that this is what happened next shortly after it was discovered by the entire class that I did like her. First, I went to the valley for almost a week to visit my dentist-excessive? not really. My parents spent thousands on my teeth as a child, so we wanted the same dentist who had performed all the previous surgeries to do a check-up. I stayed with my grandparents in Kingston, and came back to Halifax just in time to catch the second half of a school day. So, I go to school, and find out that J. has invited everyone in the class to her birthday party that Friday after school. Invitations were given out earlier that week and everything. I’ll cut out the pulp, and just tell you that I neither asked her about the party, nor was given an invitation by her. I was told by my friends to just go, but I never did. After class was out that Friday, I just walked home while the rest of the class gathered to go to her house.

So, that’s that. I don’t know if I block that or what, but it definitely felt crappy at the time, so I’m wondering about the effect that may have on me now. There’s nothing malicious there, just two really shy people who never had the guts to talk to each other I’d say. So odd that I never think of that-aside from the other night, the last time I thought of that…..seriously can’t remember, it’s been that long. Having a crush on that girl as long as I did, and then having the dumb-luck for her to find out and not see it as a bad thing-and that’s the other part to this, I feel fairly safe in thinking that she was interested….but too shy to do anything about it. Don’t get me wrong though, this isn’t anything to do with regret-no regrets-just investigating and theorizing.

I guess this is one of those things were I get to put-no one bother to leave any comments on it-this is here purely to remind me so I don’t forget again, and to go through whatever exhibitionism this blog could be classified under.

Bonne Nuit.

No, the title isn’t about a girl, I just listened to The Zombies-She’s Not There like six times in a row. It was remixed for Kill Bill Vol. 2, which I just watched, and now I need to hear that song…..again! Only this time with headphones. Everyone’s homework assignment is to get that song. There you have it.

So, I determined that I have the flu…..I based this on the power of the internet. Sore throat, fatigue, joint and muscle pain…..I haven’t thrown up or anything, but I think when that happens, it’s in most cases NOT the flu, but something to do with your digestive system? The flu is respiratory correct? I’m talking out my ass right now. Shut up, I’m sick. I spent last night finding it really cold, then the instant I pulled the blankets up, I was WAY too hot. Did that for hours…..seriously, I never really fell asleep until the sun was ready to come up. Bru-tal I tells ya. I’ve been sticking with the fluids regimen, plus I’ve been eating my face off-need to keep up my strength right? I’ve always been able to eat when sick with anything, not sure why. Even if I’m a bit sick to my stomach, I’ll keep trying to get something to stay down. Too much willpower I guess. (Editor’s note, Willpower is often code for Stubborn As Hell)

I will be gone as of sometime tomorrow, and back, well, whenever……who knows. When it’s time to come back I guess. So, Joyeux Noël to you all. See you all in a few days I guess. (Whoever “you all” are, since I have only a very small idea who reads this, but I know it’s read…..and I still post. Must be getting used to spilling my guts-Fuck! I should be in an emo band hahaha……to hell with that)

Bonne Nuit.

Sick, tired, and sore right now. It crept up on me all day…..but now, since roughly 6 PM or so, I’ve been really feeling it, and it’s just getting worse. I had to cancel the three song set with Craig and Jon tonight…..I’m sure they’ll do fine without a bass, really…..I just can’t make my way down there, wait to play, play, and come back. Not gonna happen the way I feel. The last thing I went out for is soup-made sure I did it before I completely collapse. This girl I talked to at one of our shows works at Superstore….I was wondering if I’d ever see her again. Didn’t say “hi” or anything though, head was too foggy to realize it was her until after I had completely left that section. Oh well, I’ll go back next Wednesday night at the same time, hahaha.

Oh yeah, I have a new tactic, it’s basically built upon the idea of trying as many different avenues at once as possible-i.e. regular dating….I know, but it’s new to me. Usually I just focus my energy on one girl, but that needs to change. I’ve been stuck in this high school mentality of hooking up and immediately being bf/gf-it won’t and can’t work that way any more. So yeah, I will be, for the time being I think, a commitment-phobe, or whatever that made up word is. Makes sense, since I honestly don’t know how long I’ll be in Halifax-forever, or only for the next four months. Seriously, if the Public Service of Canada offers me something good out of town, I’m a ghost. Halifax is too expensive for me right now at the moment anyway, if I move someplace with a lower cost of living, it would just be a smart move.

So, with all that in mind, I have started getting myself to live as if it’ll be my last four months here, just in case. Oh yeah, that’s my other new thing, being completely honest with people. A year ago, I might have kept my mouth shut about maybe moving, or anything to do with dating….but life’s to short to dick around I think. I will, at times on this blog however, keeps things vague from time to time to protect various people’s identities.

I also put a link in the title again, it takes you to wikipediabooks…….specifically, the humor books page. I read some of that stuff late into the night on Monday because I couldn’t turn away. Take note however, some of it is offensive as FUCK!

Oh God, in the twenty minutes I’ve taken to type and edit this, I feel even worse….my back hurts the most for some reason-I haven’t been coughing too much, but I did kill it lifting/carrying Andrew’s bass amp all night last weekend, so maybe now that I’m sick and miserable I can really feel it. Blah.

I’m gonna watch High Fidelity and pass out. Nighty night kids.

I put that link there because of it’s loveliness……if the highway you have travelled on more times than you can count being called a “death-trap” can be lovely. Yikes like a MF’er. I bet that link will be dead by the time I post this entry…..pfft, whatever man.

Oh, the currently listening to thing? Got a good one….I’m letting my itunes just go right now, and it is on Blue Oyster Cult- I’m Burning For You. Awesome huh? There is so much randomness to my itunes, it’s the best really. I actively encourage people to put whatever the hell they want to on it. Either that, or I’ll sit around drinking with someone downloading all kinds of crazy crap. Dennis and I are the best at that, probably why that song is on there in the first place hahaha. Drinking and DL’ing with Ian has now become a habit as well.

So, Christmas presents? Bought and wrapped, well, all except what I an I will be getting on Friday night/Saturday morning that is. I didn’t even need to rush to get these either, because it has just occurred to me that the majority of the people on my list I won’t see until after Christmas. Meaning yes, I could have waited and got that cheaper on Dec. 27th. Incidentally, I am buying a shitload of Christmas lights when they get cheap…..as anyone who has been in any room of mine since I was 15 can tell you, I enjoy them. They’re easier on my eyes, plus there great for setting a mood *wink wink* (And no, that mood has nothing to do with some bizarre Xmas role-playing, I don’t own a Santa suit….but I’m open-minded hahaha)

Well, I’m posting for posting sake I guess, nothing to impart, admit, or rant about. So, bonne nuit.

Yay!!!! I found out I get to redo my Management Science course again next semester…..I have such a hard-on for that course I’m doing it twice…..hahaha…..I’m pissed, so I’m being venomous…..which I actually enjoy. I know, what a sadistic fuck. More venom!!!!

Enough of that crap, that’s life kids, can’t be an expert at everything….unfortunately, as someone who rarely ever fails, I feel annoyed, but I’ll live. At least doing it again means I’ll kick the friggin crap outta that course the second time around. Eye of the tiger indeed.

So, is it just me, or does getting older mean you just care less and less about Christmas? I know I couldn’t be excited about it if I tried. I’m thinking if I had kids or some such thing it might bring it back. Right now, mid-twenty something bachelor guy doesn’t even notice it really….except that I’ve been shopping that is, that reminds me hahaha.

So I set a new year’s resolution for myself, which I have never done in my life, since I’m the type who just decides to do things whenever (frankly, setting a start date seems like the resolution is doomed to fail to me)…..so what is it already rambling man? OK, I realized tonight I need to smile more often, and MEAN it too. It’s not like I don’t or anything, but I often catch myself doing it and stop myself short. I have a complex built up around it, which I have discussed with one other person in total…..but based on things I’ve said, it pretty obvious I hate the way I smile. Seriously, this is MY complex…..other people have their own things, this is mine. But I’m just bored to tears with even thinking about it anymore, so enough with that eh? Plus, the girls are never too into the dude who looks like he goes home and thinks depressing things and draws depressing, possibly violent pictures…..hahaha just being self-deprecating, don’t mind me.

And no, still no idea what I’ll do for NYE…..I’m waiting to be absolutely convinced that I should do one thing over the others….others, that’s right, I have an embarrassment of riches when it comes to NYE this year. About time I say…..usually every year I end up getting drunk at home, or at a small party which I’m not into to, and is somehow full of strange people I have little in common with, and this usually occurs through some kink in a plan-like the weather….the weather has interfered in my past two NYE’s in some way or another.

I am going to go with whatever plan will be the most FUN, at least one of you possible/potential/maybe readers knows what I mean by that….it’s been a while. I’m looking to start the new year with a huge goddamn bang-something to set the tone for the next 365 days of 2006. It’s at the point where I really think I should expect nothing less….that’s right, I AM becoming more selfish, and good for me I say.

Bonne Nuit.

Well…first off, I’ll say that the drama I mentioned in the earlier post from last night has more or less been dealt with….and by drama I meant the drama that affected me personally. As far as I’m concerned, it’s done-stick a fork in it.

My plans for December have taken a turn towards the unbounded….by which I mean I have no clear clue what is happening as far as my holiday is concerned-right now I’m content to play it by ear…..which seems to be the best course of action at the moment. I do know this however, Reflections Wednesday night will have myself, Dan, Jon, and Craig rockin’ Christmas in style. Hopefully some who read this will be in town/still in town and be able to come by for some fun.

At the moment, it appears that Ian will blast back from Yarmouth (he’ll be there all week-working) on Friday night, and we get to fit our shopping into Friday night/Saturday morning…..yay. I’m doing my best to clean up some loose-ends in that regard this week. High-pressure shopping…..the best way to end up with a crazy gift really…..having Ian and I running through the mall ten minutes to close on Christmas Eve.

I’ve received a few invitations for things to do on NYE….and as much as I hate to say it, I’m still deciding. Je suis très désolé……haha I’m listening to The Arcade Fire-”Haiti”, and she just sung in French…..so, sorry about the French sorry? hahaha Je suis très fatigué aussi. Frig, it is 3AM….that party on Friday night threw me completely off my schedule. I really need to make sure I do the workout deal tomorrow…..three days of not having done anything is actually bothering me. I really seem to be taking to it actually…..helps that I’ve done it before I think. I just needed to grow up a bit and learn the mental discipline necessary to motivate yourself. OK, wasn’t I talking about NYE? Scatterbrained much Lee? GO TO BED!

I will agree….bonne nuit.

P.S. funny story about why I always say bonne nuit. My mom used to say it to me every night when I was young, but she would pronounce “bonne” as if it was an English word right, so there would be this hard “N” sound…..which I copied…….Fast forward to when I was with Isabelle, and I started saying it when she went home from my place every night. She tolerated my mispronunciation for a while, but one night, she turned around after I said it, and was like “listen, you are soooo saying that wrong….” hahaha I still laugh about that.

OK, now I’m going to bed for reals.