Well F me….lookie here at this……

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OK…here we go….first official post from my new home in Moncton. After much driving and over $100 in gas and too many Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers with Ian, I got here offically with my stuff present on Sunday night….took awhile to get the ‘net, but here I am utilizing it, as well as havnig a cell phone hooked up. Now…the job search continues….been spending a lot of time getting settled as best I could, trying to keep my schedule and habits from Halifax going to help out with the transition. Gonna be an interesting time I can already tell, I really have no idea where it’ll go from here, all I can do is sit back and wait for it to come to me…..but….it’ll be interesting….

….a bientot.

OK…I was thinking that I’d just keep this on the down-low…and it still will be, but I’ll allude to it….ok, so what am I going on about? Well, the day I had yesterday, that at first was quite literally one of the worst days of my life….seriously, I was down pretty low. Basically, my fault, I managed to hurt the one person in the world I’d never thought I would be capable of hurting, by some stupid comments I made while in a weird mood the day before. It’s funny though, how bad I felt because of it, and I was the cause….I’m not going to get into a “who felt worse” competition (yikes, what a shitty competition that would be), but I managed to feel pretty damn low until it all just came out….and it was tense for a few moments then too, with everything up the air. I’ll never give the details, but let me just say that yesterday turned out to be a really poignant day for both of us.

All is forgiven now, and as it would happen, we have new understanding of each other as a result….so, in this case, the bad brought out something really awesome-kinda like new growth after a forest fire…or, to be an economics nerd for a second, how a natural disaster can stimulate GDP growth through rebuilding haha.

I am glad that the one person who is beginning to know me better than anyone else ever has will still be around, and I’m sure they feel the same.

OK, enough of this sappy post…I just felt I had to mention something about it, as the past couple days are always going to be there as important ones in my life, I know this already….and anything that important, well, if I didn’t post about that, then what the hell do I even has this thing for? Haha

Adios.

P.S. Although I never thought it would happen, I’m so down with the Broken Social Scene as of late….just took time to grow on me I guess.

So….right now everything is moving by slowly and quickly….weird, I know, try living it haha. I’m so close to leaving – which includes all the work involved with having too leave, i.e. packing, driving my junk to New Brunswick, etc. – but I still feel as if I have so much time left here in Halifax, like the month is just moving so slowly.

Definitely been a crazy month so far….although I knew of everything that was to happen, it still swept me up when it happened…hard to think that things have ended up as they did – almost like I wasn’t even in total control, which is crazy, I’ve never been more in control in my life before….I guess that’s another contradiction you can chalk up to me. I am, if nothing else, as lame as it sounds (just because it’ll sound like I’m quoting a Green Day song haha), a walking contradiction.

Having a weird feeling day, as I am today, has definitely brought it out I’ve noticed…today has been marked by if nothing else, my ability to be completely confident while still being completely insecure…and I’m pretty sure I drove one person a bit nuts with it haha…I think they let it go pretty well though…it’s just an off day for me I suppose…

OK….try to sound less nuts already…ummm….I guess there’s little else to say, my whole day has been taken up by this weird feeling…I think it has to do with the fact that after two straight weeks of constantly being around people, and occasionally stressing, that being back home by my lonesome for a week is making me act…well….odd. Too much time to think I guess…

Okie dokie…time to end this madness…..back to studying for my last exam….possibly the last ever at SMU….it’s the end of an era.

Happy Easter.

I’ve been feeling some compulsion to write something on here like I used to….but lately I’ve just been, well, not feeling it. I know part of it is that I now no longer keep everything secret…haha….been a while since I spilled my guts on a regular basis to a real human being, and it’s affecting my creative writing hobby aka “The Blog” haha. It’s still better that way for my sanity though I bet, more like a normal person now I suppose, inside of just internalizing everything and becoming disconnected from everything around me. God, thinking about it now, that was so unhealthy. Isolating myself out of fear of trusting people – so stupid, what a bunch of wasted time that was.

Speaking of fear, I’m about to once again step off into the unknown. I’ll be here in Halifax more or less for only a week or so I hope. I realized walking to my exam yesterday morning how much I’ll miss this place. The years here went by so fast, I never noticed I had been here so long – especially this Allan St. neighbourhood….I actually have (had) a neighbourhood….it might not seem like much to some, but as someone who moved a lot and had a lot of uncertainty in his home life, it really felt good to have some stability. Realizing this is exactly what made me sad yesterday…I was in a bit of a rut yes, but I was also at the same time in my home – one that I made all by myself.

At the same time though – here’s to new beginnings kids…going to enjoy having the ability to do this while I can….soon it may be I’ll have settled into something that won’t be as easy to leave or change, so here’s goes nothing….haha.

It’s too bad my last remaining days in Halifax are going to have a cloud over them…..specifically I’m thinking of Melissa and what happened to her at work. I can handle things happening to myself, I’ve had knives in my face, and big guys with poor attitudes and gangs of mouthy kids pushing me and I’ve dealt with that all…but when something like that happens to someone else, I just get some sick to my stomach….I really wish it hadn’t have happened….just the thought of that situation having gone wrong, as it has for people in the past who you hear about in the news, through ancedotes, whatever….ugh.

Part of me feels bad for leaving at this time too….I already felt like I was abandoning friends and family already – not like I really am, but I think too much and got it into my head that I was…..but stuff like this….oh well….that’s life….sometimes it rocks, othertimes it can really get you down.

Regardless of this seriousness – which is really not in my nature as most of you are probably way too aware of haha – I feel like I’m making all the right decisions…why I don’t know yet, but this feels like the right thing to do. I guess that’s the best I can hope for….

I have no expectations….all about the journey, not the destination right? Guess I just feel like taking this turn I see up ahead of me…..here it comes….

Alright…news…lets see…oh, how about, I am now offically moved….at least in terms of having a place and paying for it. 61 Drummond St. Apt 4…So, as of now, I have a Halifax place, and a Moncton place, I feel like a rich man. haha. Basically the place was available for April at vastly reduced rent and damage deposit, and this way me and my new roommate Michelle could move in whenever, instead of having to do the usual-move your shit out as they move in ’cause everyone is moving on the same day-type deal. I’ll be heading up with a vanload the weekend after next I hope.

Right now however, it’s exams I’m worrying about….Thursday morning, then a study weekend until next Monday, when I write the last one for the semester, and what is quite possibly the end of my SMU days…..only 6 years, 1 degree, 3 majors, and $30 000+ later….I’ll finish the economics degree don’t anyone worry…I just need a break right now-and some cash saved up.

So, that’s all the news that’s fit to print….back to studying for a bit, then early bedtime….a bientot.

OK….felt I should post before I take off for Moncton in the AM. Came back to Halifax to write an exam-which I felt good about when I finished, always a good sign…but it’s back to my future home to tie up some loose ends regarding living arrangements, and then maybe check out the job scene a little more indepth.

Oh…..here’s a pic of me and Mel from the vacation weekend….judging from the photo, which had the potential to be really nice, I have to ruin everything haha. I can’t pose for photos at all….so here we go…

This was us at the C’mon show at Gus’ Pub…..

OK….gonna go pack for my early morning bus ride…..see you all in the funny papers….

Figured it might be time to post. Had a lot happen since the last time I posted anything worth mentioning. Well, to start, I had my vacation weekend with Melanie April 1-3….Mindy and Katie came down as well. Fun stuff for sure. Got to go out and walk around on warm days, see a show, and chill out at home without really having to worry about anything. It felt great.

Tuesday morning Mel and I left for Moncton…..which is where I am typing…..well, not really in Moncton, but it’s the same to me at the moment. Wait until I move up to start nit-picking on the location name. (It’s Scoudouc I’m in…jeez) Saw some apartments…there was one I liked because of the low price, proximity to the mall, and it’s lack of a lease, but the jury is still out on that one I guess.

So….there’s a lot of snow outside right now….sorta freaking me out….I was up late last night and never noticed it at all….get up at 10AM….friggin white everywhere. Now I wish I had been given my NB required ski-doo….hahaha bad joke for the the benefit of some people who may read this bastard blog. Yeah, I’m just not in the mood to say anything neat…..so here you all are…..an update post.

Oh, OK, here’s something I’ll leave for you guys…..the idea of moving is freaking me out-but that’s just normal. So much to do, and so much hinging on my successful maneurvering over this next month. I do have a support section though…so I’m not too too worried. More like I’m worried about it all going well to just the right amount. (Also, the spell check isn’t on, and this cpu is having issues with insane amounts of pop-ups coming on-screen that the spelling here may suck more than usual)

a bientot.