The one thing I’ll miss when I’m dead (presuming I can miss thing then) is the night air in summer when it’s still and fresh.

OK maybe there are more things to miss besides that, but that one ranks at the top 5.

Bonne nuit

The worst part about missing someone, is when you dream about them.

I suspect I still have a long haul in front of me.

So I’m now worried I’m going to become one of those people who says what they’re thinking out loud. Maybe I’m just paranoid, but if it happens there will be trouble haha.

In other news the sore back watch ‘07 is still underway. The older I get the worse the pain and harder it is to recover from it. Let’s here it for aging.

Also, blogger now autosaves drafts as you write…finally. I can think of at least one time I wrote for half an hour on something really important (to me anyway) and had it disappear on me.

Ian came up for a visit this weekend. My many months of doing nothing but work and getting enough sleep in between definitely showed. By Saturday night (actually more like early Sunday morning) after two nights of staying up late and drinking booze, I was falling asleep in the car, despite talking about anything to keep myself awake….what I imagine slowly bleeding to death might feel like.

OK, my back hurts too much while I type…which incidentally for most of you who play MSN with me, if you wonder where I go to, it’s because I can’t sit up to type anymore and need my heating pad….which I am about to retire to, along with a book, so I can enjoy the little bit of the long weekend I have left.

Lates.

So I’m here this morning, dreading the usual sitting around for 8.5 hours killing my back, thinking I need something to get me excited about life again. Hopefully the promotion I applied for will pan out for me and things will begin to look up.

The problem is too, that while I wouldn’t mind something new to happen on the relationship front to liven me up, I know for a fact that I still have to work through everything that happened with the last relationship, and it’s just not a good idea to get involved with anyone right now.

There’s my confliction in a nutshell. And with that, I need to go to the back-breaking chair I have at work…bringing the magic bag today however, so hopefully that can help somewhat.

Adios.

OK, so the heart tests and the cardiologist appoinment has come and gone. Th results? Well, I’m not dying, at least not any quicker than the rest of you haha….or at least not from my heart.

I do have a murmur for sure, but my heart itself is healthy, so the murmur is either one of those run-of-the-mill murmurs that mean nothing, or it’s being caused by something else.

One of the tests they did was to take an ultrasound of my heart from all different angles….it was cool seeing it on the screen, but then I’d freak that I was actually seeing my heart in real-time, so my pulse would quicken….which of course I could see on the screen….so I eventually passed the time staring at the second hand on the clock instead.

I was told to get myself a family doctor however and to always keep in the back of my mind that the murmur is there, so in case anything out of the ordinary happens, I just don’t write it off as nothing….which to be honest I have a habit of doing, which I blame mostly on my high pain threshold.

All-in-all though, good news. Now I just need to see about getting into the clinic and finding out what might be causing it. My money is still on the overactive thyroid theory, but we’ll see I suppose.

PS I hate the gowns at the Dumont….felt like I was wearing an ugly toga

Well…right now I’m sore and sick and feel as if I’ve physically lost the battle…but I know I haven’t lost the war.

In other words, patience is a virtue, and I’ll bide my time. Don’t worry about me.

PS I like weekends even more now because it means I get to not shave

So fate, what the hell was the last year of life all about?

Seriously.

P.S. This is my 200th post. Whoop-de-do