I appreciate all the well wishers…I love you people you’re great. Too bad I’m a robot and it’s wasted on me haha. Seriously though, I’m fine, or at least on the outside so don’t worry about me….besides I now have Guitar Hero III to console me….played it so much today my fingers/wrist hurt…but it is fun, and I had at least three other people in here playing/watching, so it’s great for starting a party.

I am fine though….seriously…..I’ll just leave my ass and not feel it…it’s an acquired trick but it works well once you master it.

Just because life doesn’t give you what you want at the moment, doesn’t mean it’s all over with. I’m quite sure that this will reveal itself to have been all part of a bigger plan or purpose. Hell, to be honest, I’ve met some really awesome people the past few months who I could really be interested in (let’s face it am…like in a harmless crush way though)…and maybe that’s where it all lies? Who knows, I sure as fuck don’t, as I’ve proven time and time again.

I’m trying to think of a song to leave….so far I think there are only two people who download the song from the blog, and I’m sure I know which two….ps you guys are awesome to play “blog” with….and interestingly enough, they are run the gamut of being in the same house as me, to being across the ocean….so in other words, the closest and farthest….the internet is fun.

I got it….click the link for Silversun Pickups – Lazy Eye…..I think one of you may have this song though based on my LastFM lurking.

And remember people…don’t worry about me…one day it’ll all work out and it’ll seem as if the whole journey was for that reason…to learn and grow and be burned and feel like shit and pick your ass up and try it again….hell, that goes for all of you….it’s not zen but it works.

Adios.

I’m writing here so I can get it off my chest and go the hell to sleep.

Work was as fun as usual….felt ill all night but tried to not let it show….something I ate I think.

Came home and realized something that did not make me feel any better….worse in fact would be the proper way to put it.

I’m an idiot sometimes, well not really, I know the truth but I’ll let others lead me down a path that is not what I know, just because the grass is greener there.

I need to trust my gut more and just realize when I’m being misled.

I think I’ll be living at work more so the next little while. Makes the days pass quicker. I also think I’ll stop believing the feelings of others….honestly, it’s done nothing for me but give me a false sense of security.

I’ve stated that before, but every time I give in and believe what I’m told….but feelings are fleeting I’m finding and I’m just not equipped to handle this up and down.

I’m still typing so I can find a song to upload.

Oh found one. Click on the link title above for George Harrison – All Things Must Pass. It seems the most fitting for what I’m feeling at the moment.

Let it go. Well, try to anyway. Hey bright side – I’ll be dead in a few decades. LOL Come on laugh it’s funny….if you can’t laugh in the face of death then what’s the point I say.

Later…time to try to pass out.

I’m thinking of trying something new….not new really, I’ve read many blogs with this option, but new to me at least.

So what the hell is he talking about? Attaching a song onto an entry. I’m doing it more or less really to, well…..not sure why entirely, but here we go.

Click on the link above (i.e the title) to be directed to Tim Buckley – Once I Was.

Why that song? Why not….it’s fantastic, and it’s can either be sleepy for me, or sad….right now I’m sleepy as all get out, so here we are. Plus it reminds me of someone I’m crazy about every time I hear it, so really why not post it and share?

PS “As all get out” is something I heard recently and thought it was ridiculous sounding so I stole it…I can’t remember where though…..someone was with me when it was discovered….maybe they will read this and remember for me.

Goodnight.

PPS If you’re reading this on facebook, it’s an imported entry, you need to get on the blog to make the link work.

You’re Siddhartha!

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

So, the obligatory update. I’m not in the mood to chat, but I felt the urge to unload some crap stuck in my head…in a vague “what-the-hell-does-he-mean” way of course.

So, I had a week long vacation thanks to my back pain. It still hurts and I’m not sure what to do with it. I started some exercises for it yesterday, and I’m hoping I can make it next week without having to get another week off work….unpaid of course. Thankfully my health insurance will help cover any lost wages….that and my vacation bucket is full of cash, and since I’m not eligible for vacation this year, it sort of works itself out I guess.

I’m still waiting for that ass kicking I asked for last time. Nothing masochistic, just craving some resolution is all. Still. Waiting. The suspense is killing me.

I honestly have no idea what will be happening in my personal life in the next little while. I’ve never had so much going on at once, but yet have so much up in the air. It’s a bit ridiculous to tell you the truth. Part of the problem is myself I know, I need to buckle down and make a decision….problem is I’m still not sure if any decisions I make will matter much in the long run or not.

So now I’m staring at the screen waiting for something else to come out…hmmm…nothing.

I should just delete this. It’s boring, this is boring me.

Meh. Too much work.