Waiting For Something To Happen
Interesting if you enjoy seeing someone’s brains splattered across the screen-not literally you sicko…Basically this bad-boy has become a source of cheap therapy.Archive for November, 2008
I think I better go digging in the backyard.
“AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Have faith that the universe will provide exactly what you need. If you dig deep enough you will discover that the treasure you have been searching for is right in your own back yard.”
Or so my horoscope says for today. Usually I just read this and “meh whatever”, but if it brings up the universe, well, I think I better go digging in the backyard.
In other news, I’m on very little sleep. The new kitty came home last night at 3:30 a.m., and since then there’s been a standoff. Pot Roast likes her and is excited, but she (name pending) is not quite warmed up to him yet. She likes me, but he’s….not on her friends list yet.
Hoping that by the end of the weekend they’ll be buddies.
I’m so tired. Listening to a cat standoff until after the sun comes up will do that.
*EDIT* I am currently taking suggestions for names for the new cat. They have been calling her Sookie, but I’m not into it. So here we are….
This isn’t a pity party.
There’s no need to be prolific, but I’m testing my endurance. Translation: I post here every damn day it seems just because I can. Yes, some posts result from boredom, others maybe from bragging, hell, sometimes all I want to do is discuss my cat (new cat tomorrow night ftw).
If I can spill it all out here, then maybe I can break down this inner critic who won’t allow me to show any vulnerabilities whatsoever. If there was ever one thing I need to change, that’s it. Creating is impossible I believe unless you’re willing to break down that barrier…..unless you’re one of those few random geniuses who would rather hide from the spotlight but yet somehow still lets their work been seen. I don’t have enough old slippers and housecoats for that job description. Brian Wilson can have that job.
I still don’t know how I think I’ll do this. I have a little over a month before I need to be in a new city, and nothing has been arranged. Flying by the seat of my pants once again. There’s no extra money this time, there’s no extra time this time.
I flat out refuse to let any of this get me down. The cell phone is off and the phone company is being irritating and not even contacting me back when I ask them to, the student loans are in disarray despite my best efforts to maintain them, the savings are gone, and my Christmas bonus this year will be $25 towards the groceries of my choice.
Go Team.
I’m stuck in a lease on an apartment that costs too much working a job I get paid too little for.
This is all doable.
Oh I almost forgot, throw in the fact I’m almost 30 and I’ve never had a relationship last more than a year. That seems slightly dysfunctional.
Fuck it, minor details.
This isn’t a pity party. Really most of that just came out. Guess I was taking stock of what needs to be dealt with. I work better with the problems on the table. Repeat: Not a pity party. I don’t do those.
How could I forget, what little money I have invested has just managed to cut itself in half – and I’m trained in economics! never saw it coming, but I guess most didn’t or else we wouldn’t all be here reeling from idiotic investments in shitty mortgages.
Money is nothing but a pain. The trick is to really not give a shit about it, but recognize you need it desperately. Took mannnnnnnny years to figure that out let me tell you.
OK I’m boring myself….I wanted to post something from youtube or whatnot, but I got stuck listening to The Dears again and I don’t want to turn it off to watch youtube videos. Guess you’ll have to search for yourself.
*EDIT* I’m back, just to inform of the new link off to the right of the page, which links to the online store I have the EP at. I don’t expect this to work any better then the 6 months the tracks have been there already, but whatever. I’d link the LastFM for the band as well, but LastFM appears to be down for the night…so maybe I should be as well. Bonne nuit.
Squandered Genius
I’m debating changing the name of this project to Squandered Genius. All this Waiting For Something To Happen has made me realize I’ve pissed away some valuable time. Squandered Genius is now beginning to feel more appropriate a title.
So what should I have been doing? I have no idea, but I’m sure it was more than this. Leaving music behind was a conscious decision, and a good one financially, so whatever regret that may occasionally pop up for not still jumping around like a fool on stage pretending I’m some screwy high school kid given a bit of freedom and his first taste of a NOFX album – it’s for the best.
(There are pictures out there to prove I was just that)
I’ve always been a gifted writer (or so I was told), but damn, it’s so hard to give a shit long enough to bother. Even then I’m such a harsh critic I would sooner burn it before it saw the light of day. I mean it takes all I have sometimes not to delete each post you’re reading.
I was good at art too – there’s a painting I did in high school that may well still be in that classroom. All I know is I agreed to let the teacher keep it….be nice to think it’s in there somewhere.
I need a muse I think, also, a change of scenery. This city is as conducive to artistic creation as being kicked in the head by a horse would be – meaning it’ll come by accident, or not at all. It was a good place to hide from Halifax though.
Come to think of it, if Halifax was where I was still creative, then it burned me out so I came here….OK, it’s making more sense to me. (I still am not 100% sure to this day why I came here, or why I do anything for that matter, I’m just that good at going with the flow)
Fredericton should be a good fit I think. University town, has the right vibe (yes I admit it’s also full of dicks that go “woooooooo” from their car and on the street back from the bar), I can go back to school, let work pay for it, and get the feel back. I mean, I’m thinking about it, and I’d be hard pressed to know where one would go to say, view art, or listen to music that’s not traditional acadian or 18 year old metal – that last one in both the sense that people here are out of date, and 18 year olds make shitty music.
I need the flakes, the indie kids, the pretentious scenesters. This is my manifesto. Consider this in stone.
I mean Jesus, The Eagles, THE EAGLES, played here. If that’s not an invitation to get the hell out of town, then I don’t know what is.
…random porn words…
So there’s this crazy fog outside, that is freezing on contact to everything. The joys of living next to large bodies of water. If I were ever landlocked without fog, and dare say “freeze fog”, it would never feel right.
I’m also hoping someone decides to get me some seasons of WKRP for Christmas…..I saw a thread on a messageboard about that show, and now I want to watch it all over again.
Also I just felt a sandpaper tongue on my arm, think someone is finally ready to go to bed.
Also also, I’m debating on whether or not to title this thread with random porn words to see what the boost in traffic would be like.
Meh. Maybe next time.
I’m currently posting in underwear
So the dishes are done. Finally. I hadn’t been caught up in months – literally months, there was always a few that got lft behind to be washed in the next cycle (approx. 1 week). It took multiple attempts throughout the day, but they’re done. Yes. Go me.
As I was cleaning the countertops, the cat decided to jump up on them, so he got covered in cleaner – it’s the biodegradable stuff, but I figured OK – time for a bath you filthy animal.
That was fun. I’m currently posting in underwear, as the rest of the clothing was soaked by his attempts to run like hell. I discovered his weakness though, as long as he was under the flowing tap, he was fine…..too bad I didn’t discover that until too late.
I better go get the pjs before I get cold, and perhaps get a blanket and keep dumbass on my lap until he’s completely dry. I’ve been waiting for him to decide to drape himself on something electronic.
I need to do dishes.
I really have nothing to type. Just bored. Snowed in.
I’ve cleaned, dug the car out so the landlord could have the parking lot cleared. Really the only interesting thing today was when he told me to hit on my new neighbour down the hall. Weird. I imagine he was joking though.
I need to do dishes. Can someone come do them for me?
Had a weird dream last night/this morning – I dreamt I was living in Spain, but everyone spoke english and a few people I knew were living there too. Then it shifted and we were all working on a container ship.
Makes no sense.
I wish I had bought something sugary last night for my snow-in. All I have is popcorn.
EDIT* It’s 4 hours later, and the dishes aren’t even close to started. I did however find this really cool Radiohead concert clip where you can choose between 12 camera angles. It’s a little blurry but the underlying premise is still cool.
Also, I managed to change the font on my macbook….american typewriter all the way.
Snowman anyone?
Snow storm? Apparently. It is here, now.
I know because after work I spent 20 minutes in a breadline at the grocery store as the place was being ransacked in preparation.
Snowman anyone?
Also I’ve determined that work does not pay me enough to put up with the shit I handle. My chest was so tight from the stress I was wondering when the heart attack would hit. Also I do believe I swore a few times, quite loudly.
Fredericton will be like an extended vacation I suspect.
My cat is a prick.
So I come home tonight to find my laptop on the floor, and the table holding it on it’s side. Lovely. Luckily it’s all working fine. My cat is a prick.
Also I came home to an email from the bank mentioned earlier. They tried to claim no wrong doing and laid the blame at the provincial government. I’m emailing back to claim bullshit tomorrow.
Comic fun!
Go ahead and push me assholes,…
So I am actually listening to Chinese Democracy. Yes, THE Chinese Democracy, fabled release by Guns N Roses. I don’t even like the band really, but when I saw they had the album streaming off their myspace I couldn’t help myself.
It’s not that great. 10 years to wait doesn’t a great album make. It’s not bad, but I guess I really don’t go for this music anyway so I’m a poor judge to go by.
In other news, the snow kept falling. It might still be falling right now. It’s everywhere, driving sucked (although I will admit to using the parking brake to slide around the parking lot tonight), and damn, it’s cold.
I’m sure I’ll wake up though and it will have magically melted. I mean, it was 18 degrees just days ago.
Also, my fight with one of my old student loan lenders continues – not that you’d know as I never wrote about it. It’s been a battle over interest relief status, as I don’t make enough to pay them all off at the moment (I have three lenders). I had contacted this one in particular in August to get the status, they never replied back, but I did get an auto-reply email saying it was accepted. I kept this email for proof.
So they tried to take money out of the account anyway that month – joke was on them, I had nothing to take. So later the next month, I faxed in the forms they needed (kept the cover sheet as proof) as even though I never got a real reply, I knew from previous times they would send these certain forms, to which I had a link. Instead they disregarded it all and tried again at the end of that month to take money out.
I contacted them, and surprise surprise, no notes on the file of having gotten any emails or faxes. I called bullshit, said I had proof, and they had better get their shit together. The poor guy I talked to agreed, and the same forms I faxed in were mailed to me – whatever, I just need to redo them and mail them in. Whatever.
So today, in the mail, are the same forms, with a note, specifying that the amount I claimed to have made in October (gross pay) was off by $26. $26?!? Are they fucking serious? Of the amount I make before taxes (after taxes it’s nothing, but I love the health care), they split hairs of $26.
Tomorrow I will simply white out the original claim amount, put in the new amount with the $26 added, and mail it.
WTF?
These people are retards.
I am now one step closer to mailing a press release to all media outlets in Nova Scotia (program the loan was under was given out under provincial legislation there), all student newspapers in NS, and the minister responsible for the Department of Education. It’s literally all ready to go.
Go ahead and push me assholes, I may not have the $$$ to take you down, but not only will I default on the loan to make a point and take the credit hit, but I’ll shame the shit out of you in the press.
This is the last time I willingly withhold the name of the party, next time it’s public.
Some competition will do you good…
It’s snowing.
Nothing too big, not even staying on the ground.
It’s official though. Where the hell are my snow tires? Oh yeah 2 are under a porch somewhere in the city, the others are at the store. Blah. Winter costs too much.
The official search for Fredericton housing will start soon too.
About damn time.
Also, some sad news, the kitten belonging to my soon-to-be new cat died I guess. The only of three to make it past the first 24 hours. The silver linig I suppose is that she will get to move in sooner rather than later, which is good as this guy is so starved for attention that typing these simple sentences warrents screams for attention.
Spoiled brat. Some competition will do you good I say.
Also before I go, these are fun.
Annnnd for some reason, when I got home the internet was acting up….again. I turned off the new router, and switched on the old one now set up in the living room. I am now running on my old network. (That’s right apparently I set up a new network in addition to the old, rather than writing over the old)
I may open a cafe at this rate.
EDIT* It’s now Wednesday, I’ve been awake off and on all morning since 9AM thanks to the cat. Anyway the weather report has changed, it is now full-on-full-blast snowing. Accumulation and everything. Sick.
