Waiting For Something To Happen
Interesting if you enjoy seeing someone’s brains splattered across the screen-not literally you sicko…Basically this bad-boy has become a source of cheap therapy.Archive for bored
…cat with the toilet water foot…
So tonight, as I got into the car to come home, a coffee cup lid blew all the way across a very larger, and empty parking lot, to come to rest at my feet.
Was this my bag dancing in the wind?
Whatever it was, I said “Hello”. No point in being rude.
I’m glued to youtube right now, watching some Stars videos. Here’s one so you can watch with me.
I’ve been having big thoughts lately. I always used to, then I became some kind of grown up……or something.
Nothing phenomenal, just….thinking big. Try it, it’s fun. I like to picture scenarios where string theory is correct and the universe and everything in it is made of vibrating strands of energy with every last thing imaginable connected, and maybe, just maybe, we’re nothing more then a realisation of ourselves – the universe just wanted to experience itself.
And then things like the sound of a cat falling into a toilet bring me back.
A coworker commented tonight I seemed to have lost my edge. It’s true. I think I’m just tired and a bit pissed really. It’s been a long 6 months or so of trying to make various things work, and I’m at the point where if I was given an out – like a “new life” out – I’d take it. Clearly something isn’t working and it’s become boring. If I have to struggle, then why not struggle trying something new?
OK, no pity parties. I just like to vent. Venting is healthy, like how I’ll vent that sooner or later the cat with the toilet water foot is eventually going to jump up on the bed.
I’ll tell you one thing I know for sure – my eyes are wide open and scanning the horizon for any opportunities to try something different.
Preferably a new job in a new city – which at this point could be in a new country, who cares.
So you don’t know it, but I just spent a good 45 minutes since writing that last sentence watching videos, and getting angry with cats who insist on tearing serious ass and fighting at 2:30 a.m.
Hmmmm well, to continue the Montreal connection, as well as bands heavy on the male/female vocal trade off….here’s another video.
*Warning, the ending is somewhat sad*
Hmm…perhaps the warning would have been better served before the video, but I couldn’t risk it not being watched.
In other news, cats are jerks.
I need my own house where they can do whatever they want.
I need to do dishes.
I really have nothing to type. Just bored. Snowed in.
I’ve cleaned, dug the car out so the landlord could have the parking lot cleared. Really the only interesting thing today was when he told me to hit on my new neighbour down the hall. Weird. I imagine he was joking though.
I need to do dishes. Can someone come do them for me?
Had a weird dream last night/this morning – I dreamt I was living in Spain, but everyone spoke english and a few people I knew were living there too. Then it shifted and we were all working on a container ship.
Makes no sense.
I wish I had bought something sugary last night for my snow-in. All I have is popcorn.
EDIT* It’s 4 hours later, and the dishes aren’t even close to started. I did however find this really cool Radiohead concert clip where you can choose between 12 camera angles. It’s a little blurry but the underlying premise is still cool.
Also, I managed to change the font on my macbook….american typewriter all the way.
…I don’t expect my hand held throughout life…
So I understand change is good, but I have to admit I never foresaw the changes that would lead me to being stuck in the situation I’m in.
I feel as if 1) I have no future prospects whatsoever, and 2) I’ve been abandoned on a few different fronts and that is contributing to problem #1.
Now I mean, no one really owes me anything, so I don’t expect my hand held throughout life, and everyone is free to make their own decisions, but it seems like I went from awesome to shitty pretty quickly.
Work has hit a dead end, with only vague promises of what “could be” as long as I’m willing to make certain sacrifices – well to be honest I believe I have sacrificed enough thank you – I’m no pushover and I’ll prove it by leaving trust me.
My personal life has gone to crap as well. I mean, I really do enjoy my space and freedom, but this is too much. I’m now finding myself alone in a two bedroom apartment with just my cat for company. Most of the old crew of friends I have either been at odds with recently, or the ones I talk to are in relationships and are obviously enjoying being a couple too much – which I don’t blame them, partly how I got here I suppose.
I went through facebook and sent messages to a few people I used to hang out with – but yeah, everyone has their own things on the go now. I’m happy for them though, some of these same people weren’t happy with things back when we last saw each other so that’s good at least.
It’s not fair to say no one is around, there are a few still hanging around, but to be honest I’m not into constantly hanging out with say the same one or two people over and over again. It actually makes me feel more sad then if I just did my own thing at home with the cat.
Well time to go, I need to go get the laundry from the dryer, then most likely hit up the usual job search sites in the hopes something was posted yesterday that seems like my ticket out of the dump….then….well I suppose clean up. I’ve gotten into the habit of not cleaning at all throughout the week, so by Saturday morning this place is a disaster.
OK here’s something that can cheer up anyone I’m certain of this.
…superfantasticawesome.
So I updated the “about me” section again…..seems as if it had stored a previous version of the page….man, hoping that wasn’t the page being displayed the past two weeks……blah.
Tried to find another youtube video of another song I’ve heard recently and think is superfantasticawesome. No luck however, but what I can do is link you to the MySpace for Dee. The song in question is Weight of the World, although the first track Hot is pretty neat as well.
So the early week has so far been going good. Pretty much fine with getting up at 7:30 a.m. now. Yesterday was plain nuts, the Montreal site went down – crazy Autumn snowstorm killing the power in central Canada. Soooooo we took all their calls, plus ours, plus we’re not set up to handle more then the occasional french call…..needless to say I was working through my breaks just to keep everything from going to hell.
But not only did I pull it off, but I rocked the shit out of it. Hope management was paying attention.
In “bigger” news, I’ve been feeling like a change needs to happen fast. I’m just bored with the same old, and I can say with all honesty I am actively trying to provoke change….but so far nothing, so frustrating. I need something new….so lets get on with it already huh?
THIS IS BORING.
It would be fun to try the National Novel Writing Month but I suspect I really have no energy to want to try. Seems all I do now is either work, sleep, or work towards getting better work. Oh, and I play with the cat occasionally, like right now we’re playing….I have to, if I don’t he screams, then to really get my attention if that doesn’t work (because I can tune him out now), he hops up on my laptop. Fucker.
Hoping the new cat addition soon to come will give him another outlet apart from me.
OK this is boring me as well, I may just hit the exercise equipment while I’m on a roll (I actually did it, the other morning I used it before work, it actually wasn’t all that amazing really)
Lates
